Grow Your Parenting Vocabulary: Reinforcement

There are four types of reinforcement that you can use when changing a behavior. Two types of positive reinforcement, and two types of negative reinforcement. And now the confusing part....the positive can be negative and the negative can be positive. Positive reinforcement means adding something to your child's environment -- you give something or do something to your child. The two types of positive reinforcement are 1. adding a reward (like a hug, praise, or treat), or 2. adding a consequence (like extra homework, or extra clean up time). Negative reinforcement means taking something away from your child's environment. The two types of negative reinforcement are 1. taking away something positive (taking away toys, removing your attention, or leaving the park) and 2. taking away something negative (bringing your child out of time out, or leaving a place your child doesn't like).

So far so good?

All you need to remember are these two things. When you like something your child is doing, you can either give something nice, or take away something not nice. When you don't like what your child is doing, you can either give something not nice, or take away something nice.

Grow Your Parenting Vocabulary: Conditioning

Conditioning your child means shaping their behavior. You condition your child's behavior any time you respond to something they do. Sometimes experts talk about changing your child's behavior, but when scientists who study behavior talk, they talk about conditioning behavior. When your baby cries, and you pick him up, that conditions him to connect crying and being picked up. When your toddler hugs you, and you smile at her, she connects hugging and happiness. When your preschooler throws a temper tantrum, and you give him what he wants, he connects yelling and screaming with making mom or dad do what he wants.

Everything you do when you're around your child affects their behavior. Now that can sound scary, but really, it should put you at ease. It means that very small changes you make in the way you respond to your child can make a big difference in how they act. It also means that you can shape the behavior of even the tiniest baby!